Saturday 28 April 2012

So it is agreed then


“So it is agreed then”.

Alice looked around, searching for approval. The circle had gnashed their teeth at each other for some time, and now Alice finally felt she had the foothold to put this issue to rest.

Alice expected affirmative nods, but instead was faced with grim silence and red rimmed eyes. They all knew what had to be done, but none of them could say it out loud. They were all mothers, everyone of them, and they, better than anyone, knew the costs.

It was Alice who had originally proposed the idea to the group. Times were scarce, and life wasn’t getting any easier on their account. They would all have to make it happen. In secret. Their power was in secrecy, and they all knew it; it lay in the mysterious unknown, the ultimate unknown, that of beginnings and creation, creation and life, life and consciousness, things not easily trifled with.

Alice produced a knife from her garments, and with a savage twist cut her own hand, allowing the blood to drip into the metal bowl in front of her. She passed the knife to her left, and in turn each of the women did the same. So it was decided, a pact of blood, a promise of unspeakable things, necessary things,  a reminder of sacrifice.

For they also knew the costs of war, the price of rape, and the murky depths that follow naturally from the degradation of the human soul. They knew the great evil that lays dormant in these spaces from birth in the hearts of men, the sound and the fury of prideful sin. They knew it just as well as they knew their fathers, their husbands, their sons.

And so they would lay their sons to rest, born but not for life, a dark damp secret.  They could protect the core, rebuild, but first everything had to change.

Each women left the circle feeling uneasy and hollow.


Wednesday 8 February 2012

Teachers and Books

Teachers and Books
``I never let schooling interfere with my education``- Mark Twain

I would love to go to class more, I really would, but I can’t shake this strange feeling that I’m surrounded by zombie babies.
My Professor is prone to keen prattle, accentualized by overzealous hand gestures, dripping with a sincere desire to show conviction and instill passion. She means well, and I’m sure she is just as frustrated as I am that this class has taken the turn that it has.
They are all hanging off the teet like parasitical parrots, and their minds have been gutted by God knows what type of 'opium of the people' their will has succumbed too. I wish I was older, so that I could approach these types of thoughts with more humour and patience, but I fear that cynicism is a young man`s game.
Hemingway told me once in The Radio, The Nun, and the Gambler that bread was the opium of the people, but I think he was drunk
A group of girls in front of me spend their time taking panicked  notes-  e-mailing professors with paranoid insecurities-  checking their Facebook with mounting desperation and need. Them, all these people, care so much about succeeding and care so little about learning, it makes me feel cheated.
They might be smarter than me, God knows they get the grades, but they are not here to learn, they are here to be told what to do, how to write, what to think, and how to say it.
Mark Twain said everything I`m feeling in one sentence, but I forget the exact quote. Damn it all.
People really don`t like it when you say this kind of stuff to them, it screws with their gears, grinding the clockwork to a halt for just a little too long, and even when it speeds back up everyone is left with goosebumps. I swear to you, these people always know the time. I bet they are always going somewhere, and I can see how it would be comforting, to know the time.
The Italians have an expression for what I`m getting at- Il belle far niente, meaning `the beauty of doing nothing`. Everyone is so worked up all the time, it`s a wonder anyone accomplishes anything at all. It`s a wonder they`ve dodged a heart-attack.
Sociology students who sit in the front row, in my opinion, are missing the point. How in the hell is one supposed to observe a damn thing from the front row?
The term zombie babies might seem silly to you at first, but I think its apt; doddering hunks of meat, neither ever fully alive or dead, yet yearning for attention and confirmation and handling. Play nice Dick. Play nice Jane. That’s a good baby, now let go of my ankle.
They would be more dangerous if they had teethed yet.








Tuesday 24 January 2012

I don't care to drink it

The touch screen freaks are taking it to the streets, a babbling crew of text-savvy nimcompoops. The worlds’ awash with modern women who coo at the E! talk news (news they say, I swear to you they say this). Texting, twittering, tablets, and tabloids have spoiled the tea, and I don’t care to drink it, not one bit, not without something heavy and burning to soothe my frayed and frantic nerves. Perhaps I am to be discarded by the fresh faced fan-clubs, death by inglorious funeral pyre (if the can ever ignite the fire). It’s the goddamn proles, the basement mould, the pampered fold. Enlightenment means nothing if all we do is stuff our needy faces’ with entertaining fuck puppets to jerk and dangle, crash and burn, , marry and divorce, whatever.
I would trade them all for a bucket of ice and a hairdryer, I swear I would, if only I had a glass that wasn’t dirty.
I don’t blame the painted fools, the big screen tools, the demented ghouls; why teach a man to fish if instead you can get him to sell his fish and buy your greasy gear. The greasy gear that fulfills the fear that maybe we never have enough in the eyes of our peers. We all need to look up to something, something larger and bigger and brighter than ourselves, lest we ever actually have to be O.K. with what we are. The horror, the horror.
I’m sick, sick and sorry, the sorriest son of a bitch there ever was, if there ever was. Shit.